TMI Thursday: Two valuable lessons

So yes, my first TMI Thursday (though technically it is Friday, but shush)

Now there might be some of you wondering "What is TMI Thursday?" Well, I first came across TMI Thursday at Lilu's blog at livitluvit.com. After reading a few of them I realized that it was clearly my kind of awesome. I also realized that the level of "embarrassment" highly differs from person to person. Then again, the people with boring stories probably posted them not because they are boring people, but more because they are well... Not Anonymous...

And just thinking about the story I’m about to share, I think I’m pretty happy about not letting my parents know about this blog.

So with no further ado, I present to you

Two valuable lessons

Back in 2006 i was a cocky brat, has much changed? Of course it has! I'm clearly much more awesome then i was then. But no worries, in a few years I’ll probably think the same about the present me.

None the less, I was 16, and was at the time in one of my deeper relationships. It was quite different from other relationships I had in the past, why you might ask? Well, things felt right I guess. A lot of things felt right. One day I’ll tell you when they stopped feeling right and started feeling like someone was holding a pair of scissors strategically placed in between my cock and my balls.

On with the story (That will have some reference to previously mentioned body parts, boring, oh sorry I mean, the young and the weak hearted, please flee now) So me and my Girlfriend, she needs a name I assume… eeh… Theater Girl! So me and Theater girl had been together for a few months. We did a lot of dumb shit in that time so I guess I do have a few stories in line for the future.

It was a Monday morning. I had come over to her place late Sunday evening and we studied a bit before we decided we deserved to have some fun. Theater Girls parents both went to work quite early, around 6-7. We on the other hand, didn't have classes before 11. We had been up late the previous night, so in the morning we started teasing each other. Now I could go through the details but that would hardly be interesting right? (Though, I'm fairly sure a few of you would find it quite interesting.) When I’m are about to finish she went down on me, she figured I deserved a proper closure after all my hard work (I have good hand-tongue coordination)

So when I'm about to orgasm, I call out

L: "Oh god, I'm coming, you ready?"
Theater Girl: "Ya give it to be, I want to taste you"

What I did then though was I pulled out and came on her face, she gets quite very surprised and goes silent for a moment, then starts laughing and says

Theater Girl: I can't believe you just came on my face you homo
L: Because coming on a girl's face is gay?

Suddenly… We hear a knocking.

Not on the outside door.

Not on her door.

But on the wall closest to the bed.

The wall to the room where her father has his home office.

We both look at the time, 11:20, no one should be home. Maybe we imagined it? Did we? Well, about the same time we turned to the clock we hear a voice.

Voice: You two need to calm the hell down, I'm trying to work in here.

And of course it was the oh so known voice of her father, no mistake... He had taken the day off to work at home.

Angry father: (Angrily) And didn't you two have school 20 min ago?

Both of us chocked by the fact we got caught, Theater Girl manages to come to her senses and replies.

Theater Girl: Only L has, I'm feeling a bit sick today so I'll stay home.

Angry Father: (Angrily) Guess he should start moving then, or do I need to help him with that?

I, as a real man, did what anyone else in the same situation would do.

I got dressed and got the fuck out in 4 min.

How dare you call me a coward! Staying and getting help!? Bah! I do have a sense of self-preservation... And I didn't really think sticking around to find out seemed like a safe alternative…

Later that evening things didn't really get any better. Me and Theater Girl had a conversation about what happened that morning.


L: Can't belive he had the day off..

Theater Girl: Me neither.. fuck, fuck, fuck. I'm so ashamed right now...

L: Well at least you are his daughter, something tells me he won't let me into your house any time soon..

Theater Girl: We might be lucky, I think we traumatized him, he didn't seem to remember anything..

L: Wait what the hell, you asked him?

Theater Girl: Not really, just a few min ago he asked me if I was using a new skin care crème.

L: What has that to do with anything?

Theater Girl: Well, a while after you left my skin went all red, so he wondered if I had a allergic reaction...

(L laughs uncontrollably)

Theater Girl: It's not funny! We made my father repress memories!

L: Surely it's a bit funny, and I think we should spend the next two or three weeks at my place. That way hopefully your father's lust to kill me will have died out a bit.

Theater Girl: I guess it is, and ya that would be a good idea... I heard him mentioning something about applying for a gun license

(Long Pause)

L: That's not funny Theater Girl ...

(She starts laughing)

Theater Girl: It was, bye!

(L does a facepalm)



And the two valuable lessons I learned?

Lesson 1: Before sex, scout the house. You never know when a angry middle aged father is on the other side of the wall.

Lesson 2: If I ever get a daughter. Make sure to put my study wall to wall to her room, and every time she has company spending the night. Walk in with breakfast at 7 am and remind the boyfriend you have a bat in the next room where you will be spending your time until he leaves. And that the walls are thin, very... thin...

So that's my story for this week. Hope you enjoyed it! Next week I'll talk about when I learned the lesson

"When meating your daughters BF, introduce yourself as a ex-convict for murder."

Much love

-L